The Time of Tourists

Hello, readers!

It’s that time of year again, folks: Sundance - a horrible time wherein uninformed tourists wander our town of Park City and completely ruin our lives. Main Street becomes “locals versus tourists” as both try to get into restaurants, clubs and whatever VIP tents companies have to offer. Well, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I think you can agree I’m not too far off.

These people come, invade our streets for ten insufferable days, and in these ten days, they crowd our stores, litter our streets, and blind us with their intolerable fashion sense.

Let's jump right in with the crowds. These could easily be the worst thing about being a tourist town, because this happens all year long. Whether it's a little league softball tournament or 4th of July weekend, Park City is packed. Sundance Film Festival is no exception; in fact, it’s the peak of tourism… which means that all of the markets in town are out of everything, and you have to leave twenty minutes early for a ten minute drive, thanks to traffic. Teachers try to put a positive spin on it by saying we get to leave ten minutes early, but come on, guys - we know you hate it, too.

Next, the litter. Oh, my gosh! How hard is it to throw your used brochure in the recycling bin that’s two feet away from you?! If not a recycling bin, at least a trash can, please! Some of the places wherein Sundance shows films are “no food” facilities, and it seems as though our guests can't read the sign. For example, the Eccles Center. Tourists seem to think that the floor is their own personal landfill, but tourists, from me to you, volunteers are not your janitors!

Third, the fashion. The facepalm-worthy, try-hard fashion in which tourists engage, seemingly based around fur. My theory is that they believe that's how Parkites usually dress, but in reality, casual workout gear is what gets most of us through our day. I would guess that this is the time when the empty fur stores on Main Street rake in all their dough.

Finally, the false promise of celebrities. We are made guarantees of Brad Pitts and Johnny Depps, wandering the streets aimlessly, trying to find fans, but in reality, they are all tied up in elite clubs with people who, frankly, are way more interesting than you and me.

All of these things make up the Sundance Film Festival, which is a huge source of income in Park City and Sundance... even when a huge source of income still sucks.

Thanks for reading, and I’m out! ✌